“We just genuinely don’t know. Isn’t that funny? [In] 2026 we don’t know if people are farting at night or not.”

That’s dumb. Anybody who’s married knows that people fart in their sleep, you just can’t tell her or she’ll get pissed.

Do I smell an ignobel in the wind?

Finger, toes. My wife’s fingers and probably 5 or 6 of her toes. My neighbor’s fingers and toes if there were beans in the chili.

Call me when there is a self-hosted solution.