Just go slow and keep it wet. It might take some time to build up your tongue strength and loosen up the opening, but I believe in you. Go forth and achieve your dreams.

If that moment of introspection concludes with you being happy with your path and current situation, then who am I to judge. Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.

1. Fill a balloon with the gas
2. Stick your tongue in the balloon sphincter
3. Wiggle your tongue
4. Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point