turtlesareneat

Couple of coke hippos,

It’s cute but by the tilt of the eyes we know it’s evil

The frog I dissected in HS science was pregnant. I hate to break it to you OP, but you’re frog pregnant. This what that looks like.

Long day? Dented cranium keeping you down? Well head on down to Melva’s High Tech Seances where we’ll let you kill a ghost with your own breath. Do not inhale while using the device as your own soul will be destroyed.

I had more than that - a bunch of nests that didn’t die over the winters in my house’s attic when I bought it, behind the kneewalls. I must have killed thousands of wasps that summer. But then! They left their dirty wasp pheromones everywhere so wasps come back year after year trying to put new nests up. I have never had such a difficult relationship with an animal before. But that was before Argentine ants started attacking… fuck those bastards

Uh what’s the french word for “antibiotic,” I need to tell a friend

In fairness they’ve been spreading Northward yearly for several years, we knew they were coming and eradication efforts have been underway for a while to try to blunt it. But, with the idiots currently in charge, just assume those efforts have been botched until proven otherwise.

Yes they just borrowed its skin for a while, it was happy to be involved

Semen actually became a semi-popular note in boutique fragrances some years ago, ELDO’s Secretions Magnifique comes to mind.

I never listen to old music, nothing from my teen 90s especially. I’ve heard those three million times each. Give me some new artists producing shimmering, sparkly electronic-indie and I am happy to keep eating it up. Other genres too but there’s so much in just this one, it’s immersive, and I absolutely think it keeps my brain sharper.

And that’s when the acid kicked in.

That’s why he’s so cranky in frame 4, he’s realizing his piece of shit brain lied to him again.

There’s a pendulum swinging towards the middle. Under diagnosis, and then ultra trendy diagnosis, huge self-diagnosis, general personality trend to align with. Now it’s going to swing back, likely towards biomarkers, as the DSM VI is trying to focus on. Can we see this on a scan? If so it exists. And then the DSM XII will be like “fuck that.” Mental health has always wobbled between extremes and somehow found the truth in the middle.

The animal welfare committee has concluded the most humane way to coke up the fish is for the researchers to also do a few bumps so they feel like it’s a party.

Wanna know a secret… God didn’t even write that part. God’s version has him at a kmart in Toledo, Iowa buying the entire universe on a Saturday in 1997, at which point he installed it, but it did take several days because it was football season, but it was less than a week no matter what anyone else says.

This stuff used to bother me but then I observed nature and its cruel rules for long enough, and I realized that suffering is one of the few constants in life, one of the guarantees. Wasps that paralyze spiders for months so they can be eaten alive by their offspring, bird species where most chicks are left to stave to death, etc… yeah nature is just as cruel as humans can be, but at a much larger scale in perpetuity, and we’re a lot more efficient at turning that suffering into greater good that lessens the suffering of others in perpetuity. So, while I don’t condone or even like to think about baby monkey experiments, I will not bat an eye at lab mice being given Parkinson’s so we can observe and seek answers and cures.

I’m buying fireworks this summer, but they aren’t being used on the 4th.